2009-11-01T00:14:00.000-07:00

This writeup was written by my friend Manas to wish me on my birthday.

My friend, as you introduce yourself and influence the wee;
A person who might be with others but yet I always want to see.
Nocturnal being, when I miss you at times of solitude;
She and her, I imagine, with an unfulfilled gratitude.
I wish you all possible happiness in the world at your birthday;

Success, opulence, love, peace may impetus your life every day.
Unison became like resonance through the fingers at a side;
Now I wonder about the routine that forced it to hide.
Embroilment wrapped in dejection comes to me for such a sudden cut;
Emersion like monsoon is wished to revive the little hut.
Localized, using my limited vocabulary to make a nice gift;

Keen for some response but afraid of trying too heavy to lift.
Attentive now for being ready, responsible and entrust.
Nomadic though but carrying stability like the Holy Ghost;
Key note is that you be happy and do what scares you most.Sounds like a poem in text book of school!!!! But dedicated to you with all first big, fat letters.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU...........Pranam.

HOPE

2008-06-04T04:38:00.000-07:00

They were never meant to be. The odd silence between them signified that a lot of things had suddenly changed between them. Silence earlier meant the most awaited moments during their association with each other. It had brought them closer several times. They had been sitting for hours together watching the beachside, without saying anything, verbally. And now, this silence was queer…. he had experienced this kind of silence at the age of 6, when his mother had waved him “goodbye” on his first day at school.
How much he longed to tell her that for the past 48 hours he hadn’t smoked even a single cigarette…. He looked into her frozen-like eyes. No warmth. And eat up his words. She had just been kind enough to have taken her time off to come and communicate her decision to Akhil. She was doing what they had promised each other.

He reached his apartment at around 9 pm. Simu, Akhil’s 3 year old neighbor, as usual, called out “Anna”, “Anna”, “ANNA”, “ANNNNNAAAANNA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”. She had waited the whole day to show her broken toy her Anna. But, the door slammed on Simu’s innocent face. Little did she know that her ANNA also had lost something, forever? Not even a slight chance to repair it.

It’s past 10 pm. Akhil still stood near the window, and as the cigar was continuously drawing smoke from the bud, one after another, his mind began pondering about the chain of events he had with Leena. Where did he go wrong? Had he taken her for granted? He knew that all human relations caused pain. But still, he had dared to take up this short-term relation. He had still dared to let her become a part of his life. … He had taken the decision of taking only limited interest in her. But, the HEART had its own ways, its own reasons of which reason knew nothing!! The intense sadness on his face showed that now, she was not just a part of his life……but…..probably the only happening part of his life. How stupid could an Engineering topper be? Akhil had invested his precious time, money and energy for someone whose existence in his life was not guaranteed even for a day!!

As he recollected his senses he realized that his cell was ringing. He replied, “aaj khana mat lana” and banged the cell. This was not to express anger on Leena. He just did not feel hungry. His system had not produced any notions of hunger; instead his stomach did not feel like one today.
He ripped off his shirt and stood gazing at himself in front of his huge wardrobe mirror. As he moved his hand on his torso, he observed the fat that he had put on in almost all areas since the past 8 months. Will Leena come back if I slim down? Or, will Leena come back if I addressed her common complaints that she had against me? He saw a thin line of HOPE.

Akhil dialed her number. Akhil said, "Hell-O". Leena’s feminine voice interrupted, “I told you don’t call me again and don’t message me. Please let me live my life and you live yours. We decided on the onset of this relationship that either of us could quit whenever they wanted. I had the option to quit and I have quit. Now stop calling me. I don’t want to see you ever again not even as a friend.”
Again he had done same mistake, of wasting his time over a nutcase. He switched off the lights of his apartment and lay in his bed swearing to himself, never to call her again. He went off to sleep. Even after a bad day we all need to sleep.
In the morn, as he opened his eyes the early morning yellow beams of the sun pierced his eyes. He got up and stood staring at the glitering sun rays with the most joyous smile. He had again found a new HOPE to live and to achieve his dreams without having Leena by his side. Yes, he has moved on.

Excerpts from My Life

HOPE